I don’t really know the right way to say this but I’m writing this because you deserved an apology that fully acknowledged your pain. I know a letter on a website probably isn’t normal, but I needed to get it out somewhere because keeping it in my head hasn’t been helping.

 

 

I’m sorry.

 

I’ve been sitting with a lot of regret about how I showed up in this relationship. I was so often stuck in my own head my feelings, my reactions, my stress that I didn’t really stop and see what things were like for you. I get now that I probably made you feel alone at times, even when we were supposed to be together.

 

You moved to another state for me, basically starting over with nothing familiar around you, and I honestly don’t think I ever fully understood how heavy that must’ve been for you. 

I took a lot of things for granted. The way you showed up for me, the patience you had with me, the effort you put in when things got hard. Instead of appreciating it in the moment, I was too caught up in my own frustration or my own way of seeing things.

 

 

 

And I hate that.

 

 

We fought a lot and I know that wore you down. It wore me down too but I can see now that I wasn’t always showing up in the way you needed me to or really listening the way I should've been. That’s on me. I’m sorry for the times I made you feel like you were asking for too much when you weren’t.

 

I’m not writing this to try to change your mind or pull you back into anything. I understand you said goodbye, and I respect that even if it hurts i just didn’t want to let everything end without actually taking full responsibility for my part in it.

 

I really do hope you’re okay. I hope you find peace and happiness even if it’s not with me.

 

 

I’m sorry for everything I put on you. This is just one of those things im going to have to live with forever. Thank you for trying to be there for me and for us, even when things got hard. It was never in my intentions to break you sweet girl. tell salem i love him and miss him more than anything (except you of course)

I hope to find you in another life.

 

im sorry.